Washed Weekly: Now We're Cooking
This one’s for the ragazzi.
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What I’m Cooking, Drinking, And Watching This Weekend
by Dave
What I’m Cooking
Well, the moment you’ve all been waiting for is here. Last week I pulled back the curtain for the first time to let you know it was about to be brisket time in Austin, TX. The results? Mixed. I may have punched up the heat to power through the temperature stall to have it done before Easter. Edible? Yes. Mostly good? For sure. My best work? By no means. On to the next.
This weekend is a bit of a wildcard. We have friends in town and plans Friday and Saturday night. The forecast is trending sopping wet, so I’m focusing on a Sunday afternoon kitchen play. During the last few months, I’ve rediscovered my passion for homemade meatballs. As the temperature has spiked here, my desire to whip up a Sunday gravy has fallen off a bit. That will change this weekend. Meatball March is here. Spaghetti and meatballs Sunday, and meatball subs for lunch Monday. This one’s for the ragazzi.
What I’m Drinking
I’ve got a 10 a.m. tee time this morning, and hopefully, I’m putting back first tequila transfusion as you read this. You read that right. I’m now a fervent believer in a nice blanco tequila in lieu of vodka for the extremely popular transfusion beverage. From there, the lads are taking on Matt’s El Rancho, a Tex-Mex institution here, where I’ll probably switch from missiles to guns and order a couple Pacificos. I’m thinking a two drink max, and I’ll be in bed by 10.
Saturday will be tough to predict. The Washed Media crew will be mobbing out Dripping Springs way for Producer Micah’s St. Paddy’s family friendly bash. If the paragraph above holds true, I probably won’t be in great shape. I’ll hold it together after a few ibuprofen and a liquid iv or two, but expect a very sunglasses on all day performance from me. Guiness will be my drink of choice. Slainte!
What I’m Watching
It doesn’t need to be said, but there won’t be a ton of time to watch anything.
Poor Things
I’ve been quite critical of the “Academy” and their refusal to acknowledge the greatness of Killers of the Flower Moon. Specifically, Lily Gladstone not walking out of that “award show” a winner. Have I seen Poor Things? Nah. But that didn’t stop me from riding for Lily. With that being said, and because I’m a journalist, I’m going to give Emma Stone a shot at some point this weekend. I think it’s streaming on Hulu, so I’ll play nice and give her a chance to earn my business.
TPC
Rory looking good thus far. What could go wrong? I liked Tommy lad going into this week because my man is due. That’s usually a way to predict a golf tournament. I love this tournament so much. In a previous iteration of our podcast, we took a trip out there eat some Pub Subs and watch a little golf. What a weekend that was: Ocean Avenue, Blake Bortles, our buddy Dan almost smoking an employee with a bladed sand wedge.
And the course is immaculate. Sunday afternoon is going to deliver.
My Alcohol Intake
The ingredients for a tough Monday are all there: golf, St. Paddy’s, friends in town, Matt’s El Rancho, a house party, and a threat for severe weather. I have got to play it cool. You may have noticed my lack of a Sunday alcohol pairing for my world-famous meatballs. It’ll be tough, but I’m trying to keep Sunday dry. Maybe a little Pinot dab from the folks at Naked Wines (use code & password STEAM) just to get the mood right. Ciao!
I’m Already Overthinking What I’m Going To Wear To The Masters
by
Historically speaking, I’ve widely criticized people who begin blog posts with quotes. It feels like a way to come off as educated and impressive when, in reality, you’re kind of just plagiarizing someone famous who’s smarter than you.
But because this isn’t a blog (it’s a newsletter) and I’m not batting lead off today, I’m going to do just that.
Success is won by those who believe in winning and then prepare for that moment. Many want to win, but how many prepare? That is the big difference. A sound value system held water then, holds water today, and will hold water in the future.
Herb Brooks. USA Hockey. Ever heard of it? In actuality, he probably never even said that or it was simply something said in the movie that’s now being attribute to him. I don’t care either way because it applies to well with my mindset right now which is the opposite of being “locked in.”
I, Will deFries, have no idea what I’m going to wear to The Masters. And I’m wildly behind in my preparations.
Yeah, The Masters. Did you hear I’m going? If not, then you definitely don’t listen to Circling Back and you haven’t had a group sit-down dinner with me recently. I’ve acquired one (1) single Tuesday practice round ticket where you’re allowed to bring a camera. Which means there’s never been more pressure to get kitted out because I will *actually* be able to have a photo of myself enjoying the scenic landscapes of Augusta National.
I know what you’re thinking: “Will, aren’t you like sponsored by Rhoback where readers can get 20% off using code BACKER20?” And to answer your question, yes, I am. And I will certainly be draped in their moisture-wicking clothing in some way, shape, or form.
The Willmon’s Polo? Yeah, it could play. An early morning quarter-zip that I later tie around my waist like a true dad? Yeah, you may even see me in a Washed-branded one. Their brand new shorts that I’ve recently acquired that need a little tailoring because my legs are annoyingly short? That’s to be determined.
Whenever I know I’m going to be outdoors in the sun all day, my brain goes to one thing and one thing only: sweat. While I’ve remedied my armpit sweat via over-expensive botox, it still leaves me with other pain areas. Yes, I’m talking about my ass.
Do I go shorts and show leg? Does that give LIV too much? Do I go pants and risk looking like one of those dorks who dresses like they’re actually playing and further risk the swamp ass? Do I go long-sleeve shirt to completely remove the layering scenario from the equation? Do I go full-party-boy and just wear a linen shirt that makes me look like I’m just there for a good time?
These questions and more have flooded my mind every single night before bedtime. I just lie there like I’m Ewan McGregor in that Trainspotting scene — rolling around, sweating, losing my absolute fucking mind. It’s only when I shut my eyes that I think to myself, “Stop stressing over which moisture-wicking fabric will cover your body that day.” But that’s also when the nightmares begin to start shortly thereafter.
Do any Certified Sweat Boys® out there have any intel for me? Do I need to understand that this is a practice round of a golf tournament and not The Met Gala? Do I simply need to show up naked and dress myself in the pro shop?
Either way, I can’t wait to spill one of those $5 domestics down the front of my performance polo. That’s what living is really all about.
Boeing Whistleblowers & Office Trolls
(0:00) Fun & Easy Banter
(17:45) Touching Based: Boeing Whistleblower
(32:00) Circling Back on Circling Back: Dillon’s Thoughts on NFT Nick
(41:30) Do we need to fight office troll Bob?
(49:10) Dave Has A Problem
(56:30) Aaron Rodgers for VP?
(1:06:00) This Weekend in Fun
But Really, Where is Kate Middleton?
by
I never really cared about the royal family until I watched The Crown. Not a good show, but a great show. The recent royal drama has been a fun saga to follow. Someone that high profile just disappears from the face of the planet, and people are going to notice. Yes they are.
Y’all know about Shelly Miscavige, right? She’s the wife of the leader of the Church of Scientology, David Miscavige. She went missing in August of 2007 and hasn’t turned up since. I’m not great at math but that’s almost SEVENTEEN years ago. I think there was a brief inquiry by law enforcement and the church was like, “Nah, she’s good. We swear.” And then that was that? Like they just took their word for it? She’s dead, right? Has to be. Weird, wild shit.
Anyway, back to Kate Middleton. I left town for a couple days over the weekend and didn’t keep up with this story. I sort of assumed I’d come back to town and look at the news and she’d be accounted for. I was wrong. And I feel like I missed a lot.
I’m not embarrassed to admit that when the clearly photoshopped picture of Kate and her kids hit Twitter, I thought that was the end of it. Okay, well there she is, I thought to myself, and went along with my day.
A keen eye for photo edits, I do not possess. Once pointed out, though, it was so obvious. So very obvious. Why would they think people wouldn’t notice? When trying to quell concerns about the whereabouts of the very famous Duchess of Cambridge, releasing a shoddily photoshopped picture of her just ain’t it. It only adds fuel to the fire.
For those keeping score at home, she was last seen publicly on Christmas day. On January 17, she was admitted to the hospital for “abdominal surgery,” according to Kensington Palace. As someone who’s had an appendectomy, if this is indeed what it was, it’s a three-day recovery. Max.
On March 10, the photoshopped pic dropped. So, here we are, in mid-March, and still no Duchess. So what the heck is going on?
Some of the conspiracy theories floating around:
She got a BBL.
BBL stands for Brazilian Butt Lift, for those unaware. It’s a surgically enhanced backside, a butt enlargement surgery. The likelihood that this is the case is inversely related to how hilarious it would be. This isn’t what’s happening, but can you imagine a member of the royal family showing up in public with a wagon? Maybe all the chatter that her sister Pippa got at the royal wedding finally got to her.
She’s growing curtain bangs.
I have no idea what curtain bangs look like, but this would explain the long absence. Wait, after a quick Google image search, curtain bangs are kind of fire. She’d slay with these.
Prince William had an affair with Rose Hanbury, who is now pregnant.
Like father, like son? Rose Hanbury, a former British model, has been linked to the royal family for many years. She’s also married and has kids, by the way. This one would be very unfortunate, and I hate to say it seems like the theory that might actually have some legs to it judging from the numerous articles I’ve found on the subject. Rumors of an affair between the two date back to 2019, apparently.
Really all it takes is a quick (unedited) picture or video and we can put all this to bed. I just hope she wasn’t Shelly Mscaviged.
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