Washed Weekly: Dead & Company with the Lutes
Bad day to be a Guinness.
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I Don’t Know Half the People in My Most Active Group Chat
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I have a handful of active group chats going at the moment. Not to brag, but I’m pretty popular and have a lot of friends. One group, however, is a downright journey every time it starts popping off. It’s not because of the content of the chat, which is some pretty standard guy talk kind of vibe, but rather it’s because I don’t know who the fuck it is I’m talking to.
Our friend Blaine, who doubles as the Washed Media Tax Accountant, has this fun tradition where he’ll take a shot of tequila for every Texas Longhorn takeaway during football games. He records a short video of him taking the shot, along with a quick household update with kids playing in the background, and he sends it to a group of guys. I am in this group. It’s about a minute in length and it’s a fun way for the boys to celebrate a big defensive play.
So it was early in the fall when I was initially added to the “Lutes” (short for Absolute Boys, for those new here) group chat.
I am one of nine people in the group. I know who four of the others are. Well, technically, I learned the name of another one recently, and apparently I played golf with him this one time a few years ago? Garrett is his name. All I know about him is he’s tall and he’s played golf at least once in his life.
Aside from Blaine and Garrett, the others in the group: Will deFries, David Ruff, Ryan S, Guy A, Guy B, and Guy C.
This morning I assigned the other three unknown people with the names Guy A, Guy B, and Guy C so that I’d be able to start assigning personalities to each of them. It was difficult to differentiate who was who when I was receiving texts from random phone numbers, so this should be helpful.
This is an ACTIVE group chat. Yesterday evening, in particular, it was going off while I was watching my son at baseball tryouts. We have guys splitting the G, guys dropping reddit links, guys sharing memes, guys sharing old, embarrassing pics of others in the group (strangers to me), guys talking shit, and some general locker room talk.
I was recently told in the group that the guys I don’t know actually “know a lot about me.” Maybe they’re podcast listeners? I don’t know. I actually don’t know a thing about them, not even their names.
A closer look at the contributors:
Blaine - Blaine is the lifeblood of this group. He started it and he has his thing that he does that we all enjoy. If it lies dormant for too long, it’s probably Blaine who bumps it to the top.
Will - Will’s MO is the G split. He drinks a Guinness down in one sip and rests it on the G a couple times a week and that usually triggers others to follow suit. It’s whatever.
Dave - Dave is just Dave, a solid member to any group chat lucky enough to have him. He adds his own brand of humor that we’re all familiar with. A valued member.
Ryan - I can’t call Ryan a standout of the group, but neither am I to be fair. Ryan is a glue guy, and probably the cog that brought this particular group of characters together to begin with.
Garrett - Garrett is tall and drinks beer and plays golf. That’s all I got.
Guy A - Guy A is good for a little quip or timely GIF here and there. I’d put him about 6th in the batting lineup.
Guy B - I’m scrolling through the chat, going waaay back, now that I’ve assigned Guy B a name and I realize he recorded a G splitting video weeks ago, so now I have a face to Guy B. No bullshit, I’ve never seen this guy’s face before in my life. He could be sitting next to me at a ballgame and I’d have no idea that I’ve been texting with him for the last several months. He’s a generic white guy with no identifiable qualities to him.
Guy C - Guy C doesn’t do SHIT in this group chat. Contributes absolutely nothing! I’m not even sure he keeps up with the banter and he sure as shit doesn’t add to it. I’m scrolling up looking for something of value and there’s nothing. Not pulling his weight. Hey man, give us SOMETHING or hit the bricks. Just a total waste of a roster spot.
The 9 Phases of My Ideal Dead & Company Sphere Playlist
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Disclaimer: Deadhead or not, some a lot of you will hate this column.
Last year while I was supposed to be working, I did something completely pointless that I’m still feeling the (positive) ripple effects of today. Wondering which songs I hadn’t heard live from Dead & Company after attending a dozen shows, I knew it was time for me to make a spreadsheet and hammer it all out. What I learned from this experiment goes as follows:
There aren’t many Will Faves that I haven’t heard yet.
A lot of what I haven’t heard will be tough to hear because they’re more rarely played.
I’ve gotten extremely lucky when it comes to how many times I’ve seen certain songs performed — but maybe that’s exactly why they’re now favorites.
With plane and Sphere tickets officially purchased for their first weekend back in Las Vegas, I decided it was time for me to create my ideal playlist. Here’s everything I thought of while putting it together:
Obvious inclusions are the songs I listen to the most on my commute. I will note these below.
Obvious exclusions are songs that either (1) aren’t my favorite or (2) I’ve seen enough times.
Some “unheard” songs are weighted and included.
Other “unheard” songs are left out because they simply wouldn’t fit into an “ideal” playlist.
I wanted to make a feasible playlist which means I could actually see them playing specific songs during specific parts of specific sets. This is all based on listening I’ve done in the past, but it’s more-so based on total vibes.
And here’s what I came up with last night on my couch:
Allow me to take you through it. Songs I’ve never heard will be marked with an asterisk (*).
Phase One: The Openers
If you’ve been to Dead & Company at Sphere, you know they kind of have two openers — their first song, and the song that launches you into space. While I can’t safely assume it will be the same format this year, I’m using that format for this specific playlist.
“Iko, Iko”* — Classic opener that I haven’t seen live yet. This would be an incredible get for me.
“Bertha” — Another classic opener that would set the tone for any night in that sweet beautiful orb.
“New Minglewood Blues”* — I want Bob Weir snarling as he screams that he was born in the desert and raised in a lion’s den.
“Mr. Charlie”* — I mean, my son’s name is Charlie and this fits perfectly in the first set. A necessary inclusion.
Phase Two: A Trip To Fennario
If you’re unfamiliar with Fennario, it’s a mythical Scottish place or town featured in some Dead songs. I’ve yet to hear two (2) songs that reference this heaven.
“Dire Wolf”* — “In the timbers of Fennario, the wolves are running round, the winter was so hard and cold, froze ten feet 'neath the ground, don't murder me, I beg of you, don't murder me, please, don't murder me.”
“Peggy-O”* — “As we rode out to Fennario, our captain fell in love with a lady like a dove, and he called her by name pretty Peggy-O.”
Screaming “Pleeeeease don’t murder me” before getting tickled by John Mayer’s Peggy-O work… sign me up.
Phase Three: First Set Closers
This is where I free up a bit. This is where I want them to simply start blazing into intermission so I can enjoy my ice cream with a smile on my face. This is where I hope some people take pee breaks to avoid the lines at set break.
“Deal” — An all-time Mayer song for Dead & Company, and an all-time Jerry Garcia favorite as well.
“Mama Tried” — I love Cowboy Boy Weir as much as everyone else loves Cowboy Bob Weir. I load this up on my commute often, so it’s a necessity.
“Dancin’ in the Street”* — Give me 14 minutes of jamming before sending me off into the concourse. A song I’ve never heard live before but one I’ve also been chasing for too long.
Phase Four: Second Set Opener
The shortest phase we’ll go through today because it’s one song and one song only: “Samson and Delilah” which has somehow turned into my favorite Bob Weir song. Once those drums kick in and you start to hear Mayer’s snarling guitar, you know you’re where you’re supposed to be.
Phase Five: Everyone Get In Pairs
And now we get a bit crunchy. The following songs are classically paired with one another, so I will portray them as such. Buckle up.
“Help Is On The Way” > “Slipknot” > “Althea” — For years, you only heard “Help > Slip” get played into “Franklin’s Tower,” but the band began experimenting with it last year. In June, they did “Help > Slip > Deal” and it was not only a wild surprise but a welcome one at that. Just imagining GA going wild when they hear those first “Althea” notes… whew.
“China Cat Sunflower” > “I Know You Rider” — A classic pairing that’s simply something I want to hear despite hearing these two songs numerous times before. There’s always a moment in “I Know You Rider” when there’s just an umami of sounds being thrown at you. I want to live in that portion of the song.
Phase Five: Pre-Drums
This may be the most optimistic portion of the set for me. While the previous six songs will surely weigh on the band a lot, asking for a random “Turn On Your Love Light” into “Drums > Space” is sure to be a tall order. But the ears want to hear what they want to hear, I can’t help that.
Phase Six: Drums > Space
If you’re not already familiar with Drums > Space, I think watching this will help more than me explaining it:
Yeah, dude. Pretty trippy stuff.
Phase Seven: Post-Space
And now, we dance and shake our bones. They normally emerge from the Space portion with a slower song to ease everyone back in before completely unbuckling, so this portion goes as follows:
“Wharf Rat” — A Jerry Garcia song now sung by Bob Weir, it hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw them perform it in San Francisco in 2023. They could easily begin this slowly to appease Space, and we know a Mayer solo can set us up to fire for the rest of the night.
“St. Stephen” — If Nugs.net had a Spotify Wrapped feature, you’d see that my most-listened to song of 2023 by a mile; specifically from The Gorge. Sign me up for as many rounds of this drink that the bartenders will serve me.
“Cumberland Blues” — A song that’s not my favorite from Grateful Dead, but a song that’s become a staple in my Dead & Company listening rotation. Fast, everyone bought in, fun.
Phase Eight: The Closer
While I’ve seen my closing song numerous times — “Not Fade Away” — there’s something beautiful about the band putting their instruments down while everyone sings them off the stage. A trademark Dead experience for anyone seeing a show, and one that I’ll welcome with open arms any time it happens.
Phase Nine: The Encore
Ultimately, this was the most difficult decision for me and I went with something that was somewhat unexpected for my listening tastes: “Touch of Grey,” their only commercially successful song that I rarely listen to in my free time.
Do I have a reason for this? No. Would it feel good to yell “We willllllllll get by!” full-volume before passing out in my Vegas hotel room? Also no. But one songs I’ve never seen live before — “Black Muddy River” — simply feels like it would leave me walking to that hotel room with more questions than answers.
And if they don’t play a single one of these songs, guess what? I’ll still lap up everything they do play. I hope to see you out there.
Cold Call: Identified Flying Objects
What a pleasure it was to talk to some Certified Opto Backers today on Cold Call, available on Patreon. This week's Cold Calls include:
Ben: He got Baker Mayfield suspended in college.
Hallie: Pronounced HAL-lee. Allegedly knows everything about aliens. Didn't pick up the first time we called. Picked up the second.
Riley: Has a MAJOR issue with how Dillon hands televisions; new dad.
Carolyne: Wife of a Backer. Wasn't exactly thrilled to hear from us at work but she gave it the old college try. Very polite.
Seth: Got impeached as IFC President so we played "Narc or Frat" with his story. Also father of twins.
Del: On his redemption arc. Thriving. Opening our eyes to self-help podcasts. Most chaotic guy of the week.
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Can we get an update on what Dave is cooking, drinking, and watching this weekend?
Sister in law is pushing a family trip to Vegas and if I go it's only to go to The Sphere.