Washed Weekly: Big Plans & AI Baddies
“Big plans this weekend?”
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Don’t Use AI This Way
by Dillon
AI is here in a big, big way, whether you were ready for it or not. Personally, I don’t really know what to make of all this yet. It’s admittedly a bit overwhelming for someone like me who isn’t among the most technologically advanced people surfing the modern day internet.
Driverless vehicles, Chat GPT, fake artwork, scam calls with recognizable voices on the other end of the line – like WHAT is going on? Artificial intelligence comes in many different shapes and sizes, some of which are used for good, and some for bad. What I’m about to show you falls squarely in the latter category.
Meet Samantha Everly, the UCLA student (?) studying engineering (?) who is amassing quite the Instagram following for simply being attractive. This isn’t a new phenomenon, obviously, as the influencer market is flooded with these types. They endorse fit tea or startup clothing lines and everything in between, and they get paaaaaaid for doing so. Hot people have a leg up in our world, as has been the case since the dawn of humanity.
There is a glaring difference between Samantha Everly and your run-of-the-mill social media influencer, though: Samantha is not real. As in she doesn’t exist. Samantha was created by artificial intelligence. She doesn’t eat, doesn’t sleep, doesn’t pay taxes, and she doesn’t age.
What I’m not going to do is post a risqué picture or video of Samantha, as I don’t want to be accused of making Washed Weekly too horny. She’s a click away, though, if you choose to look for yourself.
We discussed Samantha’s Instagram page in depth on Monday’s episode of Circling Back. The convo started because someone in our office found the page and a particular video caught our attention. Reason being is it looks passable as real. I’ve seen plenty of AI images that look real so I’ve become numb to them, but this video is a different level.
You can sort of see why she’s gaining so many followers, right? I’m not saying, but you know what I’m saying.
This is another reminder that this person absolutely does not exist. Someone is running this account, however. A real person is behind it. Who, though? I don’t know. There’s no way of knowing. Probably just some pencil-neck computer dork. It’s irritating enough that whoever is running this page could use Samantha as an actual influencer to earn actual money by posting actual sponsored stories and posts. She may be fake, but the audience that follows her is very real (mostly), and a sizable audience has very real value.
To add a whole different level to the absurdity of this, if you click the link in her Instagram bio, you’re directed to her Patreon page. For those unaware, Patreon is a paywalled platform that creators use to post podcasts, blogs, videos, etc. Subscribers sign up and make monthly payments for access to creators’ content. We use it, too.
18+ exclusive content? She’s not…no. Can’t be.
A further dig reveals that, in fact, yes, this artificially created person is offering artificially created nudity in exchange for real money. She offers two membership tiers, the lowest of which includes fully nude images (and videos?) and a chat function for $9.99 per month.
The higher, more expensive tier is $29.99 per month and includes everything in the first tier plus personal voice requests (again, not real ones) and an Instagram follow back (from the person running the page — not from Samantha, as she is not real). Thirty bucks! That’s three times more expensive than the standard Netflix package!
Listen, I don’t know what actually lies beyond the paywall here.
Is she actually baring it all? Is it censored? Is it dirty? Is it tasteful? Is she with an artificial friend? I don’t know the answers to these questions and whoever runs this page will not be collecting $9.99 from me to find out. Not only do I adhere to a strict “no paying for nudity” personal policy, but I also don’t want to support AI creators. It’s too easy. It’s cheating.
Support real artists and real creators.
The thing about Only Fans models that I respect is they actually have to commit to the grind. Do they get paid for simply posing nude? Yeah, they do. Is it an easy way to make a living? Well, sort of.
Yeah, the act of posting revealing pictures is easy to do, but the hidden cost of doing so is putting yourself out there. Those nudes they put on the internet are on the internet for good. Family, friends, colleagues, parents of your significant other, potential employers — they can all see it if they go looking.
You can’t back out of it. You’re forever “that person who sold their nudes to strangers.” That’s the inherent risk they’re all accepting by monetizing their images. And, folks, that cost is steep.
With Samantha Everly, with the dork behind this artificial person’s page, there is no risk. No staying in shape. No chiseled bone structure or curvy physique. No commitment to being that person who sells nudes on the internet. No collecting a modest fee for sharing the spookiest listener-submitted stories anywhere on the internet.
He or she gets to sit back and collect money for posting computer generated images and videos of a person who isn’t them. Of a person who isn’t even a person. Listen, it just stinks.
Big Plans
by Dave
“Big plans this weekend?”
Define big. Do you mean having absolutely nothing on the docket? Then yes, I’ve got huge plans this weekend. I’m champing at the bit for 4 pm on Friday. After that? All bets are off.
Stop number one: the liquor store. Specifically, Total Wine. They’ve earned my business going forward even though I never buy enough to make the rewards program worth it. Sure, I’ll have to navigate the many sample stations that fill that place on a Friday afternoon, but that’s easy. I just give my patented soft smile, nod awkwardly, and say, “No thanks.” I used to be a mark for them. I’d talk craft gin with some random promotion person for ten minutes. Sometimes, I’d even leave with a bottle.
Not anymore.
When I strut through those automatic doors, I veer hard right for my favorite Sangiovese from Montalcino: Renieri. It’s $21.99, which is a steal. “Stylish, fresh, and fun, this will be an ideal complement to fresh pastas and weeknight dinners.” Figata!
From there, I power walk right over to tequila for a quick look to see what’s poppin. I have no need for more tequila in my household, but recently, a nice conversation with an employee led me to El Tequileno Blanco. It’s a 20-dollar bottle, and it’s great. Very much El Dave friendly. But like I said, we’re maxed out on that front, so this will be nothing more than a reconnaissance mission.
On my way out, I always slow-walk through the bourbon aisle. It’s by far the most entertaining. Dudes on the hunt for a rare sighting, and dudes who will sit out on the back patio listening to Zach Bryan until they piss their pants. Dudes will read this and think, hell yeah.
What’s next? Other than my son’s soccer practice Sunday morning, and Oregon-Washington at 2:30 Saturday afternoon, I’m pretty wide open. ALCS time is still TBD, but I’ll likely spend 80 percent of my weekend worrying about Aroldis Chapman getting the nod in a high-leverage situation. If you’re in a group text with me, feel free to put out some feelers. I’m a maybe for anything. So yeah, big plans for this guy.
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