Washed Weekly: A Dangerous Cocktail of Events
Cold fronts & whiskey drinking playlists.
Welcome to Washed Weekly — a weekly newsletter that will feature original columns, quick reads, exclusive product drops, and an offering of some of the best content we’ve created throughout the week that was. Read it, enjoy it, and pass it on to anyone you think will enjoy it, too. You can also check out the Washed network of podcasts.
15 Things I Consumed This Week
by Will
Now that we’re on Substack, it’s only right we get a little Substack-y. When I first started using this platform last January, I found myself following a bunch of writers that I had already ready a lot of. One of those writers seems to be the darling of Substack itself, Haley Nahman, formerly of Man Repeller fame. Yes, I realize that the Venn diagram of Washed followers and former Man Repeller readers is stretched thin.
Being that we’re in media, it’s difficult to take in other media without having certain thoughts. They begin basic, like “I wonder why they formatted it like this,” and then they can trend into pure jealousy: “Dammit, I wish I would’ve thought of this.”
The time I felt the most jealousy was when I stumbled upon her recurring series 15 Things I Consumed This Week. Not only do I think it’s valuable for all of us to archive our lives so we have reference and appreciation for the things we do, but I also think it’s fun to be a voyeur looking into someone’s free time. You know, even though they’re putting it online for everyone to see.
Let’s give it a whirl.
This ridiculous column on the ways young dudes are trying to get hot, called ‘looksmaxxing.’ Don’t get me wrong — I definitely want to be hot. But these 18-year-olds are taking things to a level that would’ve gotten them pants’d in gym class in 2004.
A very responsible amount of Halloween candy. Yes, I have a sweet tooth. Shout out to Sour Patch Kids and Half-Baked from Ben & Jerry. My son fell in love with trick-or-treating this year and completely forgot about the candy he acquired by EOD 11/1/2023. I’ve been diving in every night and now all we’ve got left is Milk Duds and shit Dillon would like.
The best pizza I’ve had in a while. When someone describes a pizza they had as “life altering,” you have to immediately try that pizza. I know I just talked trash on his palate but when Dillon told me about his pepperoni, sausage, popcorn chicken, and sweet pepper pizza from Jet’s, I knew I had to catch that vibe. Highly recommend.
This Jerry Garcia and David Grisman from December 1990. YouTuber Christopher Hazard has been my favorite follow as of late. He remasters old Grateful Dead (and Jerry Garcia) shows and makes them nearly flawless. The linked performance is his most recent work and it’s such an enjoyable listen with this cool weather. Start a fire. Enjoy.
64 ounces of water at a time. My wife bought me a new water bottle. It’s, uh, bigger than I imagined. Carrying around 64-ounces of water may help me actually develop bicep muscles though. And it has an internal straw that absolutely freaks.
Two (2) Hot Toddies. Yes, I’m having a slight nasal issue. Not enough to keep me out of work but enough to annoy the hell out of me. Obviously, toddies were in order. My recipe? A few glugs of Bulleit, half a lemon, topped off with hot water, and some honey mixed in. Local, obviously.
This painfully accurate tweet about post-grad jackets. Considering myself exposed.
Love Island Games on Peacock. Look, I hate Peacock as much as the next person but because I have it for EPL matches, I have it for Love Island by default. When I originally saw this was going to be a “games” format, I was bummed. But then Callum showed up and it became evident that we were in for a totally normal season of the shit we all love. I’ve been begging Dave and Dillon to start watching but to no avail. Yet.
Sting’s “Englishman In New York” with Branford Marsalis. Been on a huge Branford kick since the birth of my second son last month and I keep returning to this on my playlists. Disgustingly smooth on all fronts.
This renovated Scottish farmhouse. My YouTube algorithm is the best. Footy highlights, Dead shows, and architecture tours. This week, it was this video from House & Garden. Scottish? I’m in. Farmhouse? I’m in. Scottish Farmhouse? All the way in.
This photo of Jennifer Grey. I stared at it for so long that I finally just wrote about it over on Scaries. I need to wear this outfit as much as I need to re-watch Wind.
Nas with The National Symphony Orchestra. Circling Back listeners are already the greatest listeners on earth; that’s just a fact. But this week I got reminded of that when a listener sent me a vinyl of Nas’s performance with The National Symphony Orchestra in DC. I was smiling from ear-to-ear both when I opened it and when I tossed it on.
My first Christmas movie of the year. Home Alone with my son on the couch. No, I do not approve of watching Christmas movies this early but it’s at least far better than people putting up their Christmas decorations the day after Halloween. Heathens.
This article on whether or not Oasis is getting back together. While I don’t want to see $1,200 tickets on Ticketmaster for a potential reunion, I think I’d give up my left pinky toe to be in attendance. Oasis had as much bruvcore influence on me as Wayne Rooney so I’ll be in the crowd.
Bloopin’ music. I’ll just leave you with this. Read the comments. Vibe like you’re a toad in the swamp. Enjoy.
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The Willmon’s Polo from Rhoback
The Willmon’s polo from Rhoback is the only fictional tiki bar and restaurant-themed tropical polo you’re ever going to need.
Listener/Reader Q&A
by Dillon
How’s the book coming along? Are you still working on it?
Two days ago I made some minor edits to chapter 1. It was the first time I’d worked on it in a few months. I’m only about 9,000 words in right now so I have a long way to go, and that includes deciding what I really want the book to be at the end of the day. There’s a lot up in the air right now.
I hit writing grooves where I’ll feel inspired and I’ll write or edit for a few days straight, then I’ll set it down for weeks or months at a time. Not great.
I am absolutely going to finish it at some point, though. That’s partly why I included this question. Putting that declaration in writing is me holding myself accountable.
What advice did you give to Dave and Will before they had their first child?
I wouldn’t give unsolicited parenting advice to my friends. Dave didn’t ask me for any so I didn’t offer any up. Will took me out for a beer before Fritz was born, not to ask for advice per se, but to help ease some of his anxiety about being a new dad.
I didn’t tell him anything specific to my recollection, but I did sort of tell him that when his child is born, things just kind of naturally fall into place. You’ve never handled a newborn before? Well it’s going to take you all of three seconds to get comfortable once you hold him for the first time. Stuff like that.
How come there haven’t been any meetups recently?
We’re out of excuses at this point. It has to get done, and soon. We should have done one over the summer, honestly. Now that Will (and soon to be Dave) has a newborn at home, it will likely put this on hold until spring or summer of next year. We simply need to meet on this and put a plan in place.
Cities under serious consideration: Dallas, Chicago, Nashville
Fav fall/winter/Christmas drinks.
I always get excited about drinking a hot toddy when it gets cold out and I end up underwhelmed each time I finally drink one. They’re better in theory than in reality. Just not enough flavor for me. You know I love me a fall beer and some eggnog, but this is tough. Okay, here’s my list:
Hot toddy
Bourbon over exactly three (3) ice cubes
White Russian
Old fashioned
Spiked/Baileys hot chocolate
Eggnog
Brown ale
Irish coffee
When does ‘nog szn start?
The first time the weather dips into the 30s AFTER November. It’s a December-only cocktail.
Can you give a high level overview of locking down advertisement deals? Do the brands want to meet you in person /over zoom or do they just listen to the pod? Do you ever go out and pitch yourself to brands you want to rep or do they come to you? Has it changed over the yrs?
I can count the number of times we’ve met with potential ad partners before a campaign on one hand. An example of that is Zilker Belts, a local company. We met with the founders over a couple beers and they signed a short-run campaign with us soon after. This isn’t the norm.
The majority of ad deals we book are through ad agencies. In those cases, the brands that sponsor us are largely unaware we even exist. A company like Liquid IV will hire an agency to allocate ad dollars where they see fit. The agency will then vet us, ask us if our brand aligns well enough with the sponsor, then they’ll book with us if it’s a fit. We work with about 10 different agencies at the moment. They come and go.
Correspondence with direct sponsors we work with are almost always done over email. There’s a nice balance between us approaching them and them approaching us.
Please provide an overview of the process for bringing new pods into the washed network. Do you all usually approach them or do they come to you? Is there a financial aspect when considering including or is it mainly based on brand fit?
Expanding this part of our business is a big initiative of mine starting in 2024. We currently work with two podcasts that are not in-house. We approached them. We look for brands that align with ours and/or potentially open us up to new demographics. Obviously, the bigger, the better. A bigger audience means we sell their ads at higher rates.
At what point does the company start advertising with @Feetfinder and we get to see some toes on social?
I don’t see that happening, nor am I going to start my own Feet Finder page. I’ll get like 12 signups which will bring in very little money, then I’m forever that guy who tried to sell feet pics to strangers on the internet.
Give me your ideal drink lineup while attending a sporting event (the boys are there).
I believe we just answered this exact question on a recent episode of Friday Voicemails that We Release on Thursdays and Record on Wednesdays. Assuming you didn’t listen, it goes like this for me:
Morning/tailgate: One Bloody Mary in a styrofoam cup
Afternoon/tailgate/before the game: One or two canned cocktails
During the game: Three light beers
After the game: Finish the day off with a bourbon cocktail or just go home and go to bed
The pace at which you drink is as important as what you’re drinking. Don’t be in a hurry. It’s a long day.
If y’all three were a type of pizza what would you be?
Dillon: Jets™ four-corner with Italian sausage, pepperoni, popcorn chicken, and sweet peppers
Dave: The Carnivore with black olives, but from an upscale place that he’ll pair with a Chianti Classico
Will: NY-style with mushrooms, arugula, black olives, chutney, red onions, caviar, and some other wild ass shit I don’t even know about
As someone newer to the content game, what is your best advice (particularly on monetization).
Done pretty well on YouTube in the first year, and solid on Social Media. Where should I put my focus? (Doing this on top of full-time work as well)
Audience growth is always the focus. Your audience is what you’re selling, not your content. There’s no perfect formula here that I’m aware of. Some things work, but almost all do not. It’s very difficult to organically grow an audience from scratch.
The things that seem to work best are very niche categories that you do better than anyone else. And be consistent.
Yo what’s ur deal?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Here’s Your Whiskey-Drinking Playlist For The Weekend
This weekend is a dangerous cocktail of events. The cold front is coming in, I’m going to Greensky Bluegrass tonight downtown, and I just picked up a bunch of firewood. Time to listen to some John Prine and really think about shit.
dis·rupt·or
by Dave
/disˈrəptər/
noun
· a person or thing that interrupts an event, activity, or process by causing a disturbance or problem.
· a company or form of technology that causes radical change in an existing industry or market by means of innovation.
By every definition of the word, the Bluetooth Speaker, BTS for short, is a disruptor. Households, golf courses, offices, and yes- grocery stores. Put simply, there’s almost no scenario in the modern world where your life is not at risk from being disrupted. Why am I telling you this? Because you need to prepare to have your shit rocked. Any time. Any place. Rocked by a BTS.
I took a jaunt to the store a few nights ago. We needed canned skipjack tuna for Tuna Melt Tuesday™ and a can of zero salt added sardines for the dog. He loves it. He cleans his dog bowl like his life depends on it on sardine day. It’s impressive. Anyway, I’m standing there with multiple cans of fish in-hand waiting for a self-checkout machine to become available. Then, I heard it.
Keep their heads ringin'
(Ring, ding-dong, ring-a-ding, ding, ding-dong)
Keep their heads ringin'
Whoa. You’ll occasionally hear a few bangers at the store, but it’s usually a Hall & Oates classic or something from Katy Perry’s 2010 catalogue. It’s not every day you get served up with a tune that was nominated for Video Of The Year at both the MTV Video Music Awards and the Soul Train Awards. I smiled and refocused my gaze to the Home Goods aisle located just behind my position in line. Then the bass got closer. It sounded like I was standing outside of the movie theatre in the year 2000 waiting for my only friend with a car to pick me and the boys up so we could drive around and wait for something to happen. Best days of my life.
With each passing second, it became clear that this was not a grocery store playlist anomaly. Far from it. This was a man who did not abide by social norms or traditional notions of grocery store etiquette. This was a disruptor. A man who could no longer be governed. A man who brought his Bluetooth Speaker with him to the supermarket and actively shopped with it situated in his cart for all of God’s children to hear.
The audacity to assume this was a move that would fly in 2023.
I looked around fully expecting to see a security guard rushing to remove him from the store, but if that ever happened, I was not there to see it. No sir. I scanned my fish, bagged it, waited 90 seconds for my coupon to print, and slowly walked out of the store, looking back over my shoulder every few steps to see what other acts of societal disobedience this man had in his bag.
I like to think that he’s there every evening, slowly working through Dr. Dre’s entire catalogue (including producer credentials) for everyone to enjoy. Maybe I’ll see him next time I’m up there picking up a prescription or some generic allergy medication. Until then, I’ll just keep my head ringin’.
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