My Application To Go On Your Group Golf Trip

"If you play golf, you are my friend." — Harvey Penick

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to express my enthusiastic interest in a position within your friend group as it pertains to future golf trips. With a passion for the game and a dedication to reversing the concerning statistics surrounding male friendship after 40, I am confident in my ability to contribute effectively to your squad.

As it currently stands, I do not have any conflict of interests due to the following factors:

• Current and previous friend groups are all having kids so Bandon Dunes is the furthest thing from their minds.

• Current and previous friend groups are golf deviants and therefore booked out rounds well in advance, none including me.

• Current and previous friend groups allow iMessage conversations to remain simply as conversations with no action.

• Current and previous friend group members are currently acting as the flex guys, which adds pressure to other flex guys further down the list.

• I’m too passive to be the lead wolf and plan these things myself.

Attached is my application to join your friend group for one (1) single golf trip in the future, with an option for future golf trips should we really lock in and gel.

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Will deFries

Hometown: Harbor Springs, Michigan

GHIN Handicap: 11.4

Current Country Club: Lions Municipal Golf Course (Austin, TX)

Personal Info: Married, two sons, almost 6’0”, 183 lbs

Awards & Qualifications

• 2nd Place: 2002 Harbor Point Golf Club Member Championship

• One Varsity match played as a freshman of the Harbor Springs High School Golf Team (score: 102)

• Quit the golf team as a rising junior to join the soccer team because it seemed like they got more girls.

• 1st Place: 2019 Scramble for my sister-in-laws wedding; 7 clutch putts made, 3 nice lag putts, 1 drive used (per scramble rules), final total team score: -17, hangover level: 8/10.

• 2024 Masters Attendee (Tuesday Practice Round)

• I have my own signature golf polo.

Skills, Strengths, & Intangibles

• I play left-handed which means the following: (1) I’ll never ask to hit your new driver (2) Courses built around a righty’s game simply don’t affect me (3) I’m clutch in scrambles when the lie doesn’t allow for a right-handed shot.

• Currently sponsored by Rhoback and receive a significant amount of free product. Probably should lead with this next time.

• Pace of Play: Elite. An unnamed former player of the Texas Longhorns golf team once said, “I like playing with you because you’re fast” and I’ve told numerous people since.

• Spent my summers working as a waiter at the country club where I was a member so I can really work the room in most clubhouses as needed.

• They call me “The Texas Wedge” because of my putting prowess off the greens (no comment regarding my wedge game from inside 75 yards).

• Hyper-aware of the Bluetooth speaker situation. Equipment: JBL Flip 5 Portable (Black) that is very familiar with Kygo.

• Impressive niche golf logo placement on apparel.

• I can probably get us a free room in Vegas.

• Range Finder: I stay strapped and ready to shoot your yardage down for you.

• Travel Equipment: Theragun Pro Plus, OGIO Backpack from Callaway event (2019), Callaway travel bag purchased using Callaway discount I no longer have (2021), complete second set of clubs in parents’ garage if trip is in Northern Michigan.

• Photography game crazy strong which means you’ll have dope pics for your story if we’re cartners (and likely if we’re not)

• Sports Interests: PGA Tour (willing to make fun of LIV but still like DJ and Cam Smith), all Detroit sports teams, Manchester United, Austin FC, Texas Football, Scotland Rugby

• Just really feel like my game is a few adjustments away from being super salty

• Fun Fact: Once birdied the 13th hole at Torrey Pines from the US Open tees

Weaknesses

• I prefer to ride in the cart, not drive (negotiable)

• Zero pull with my local pro because I’m not currently a member anywhere

• Size M/L which means I’ll be gunning for your size in the pro shop

• You’re going to apologize for pulling up to the wrong side of the ball even though I don’t care. Seriously, it’s okay, I don’t care.

• Hangovers (as they pertain to putting)

• Shampoo Effect (as it pertains to Transfusions)

• Excitable

Willingness To Travel

• Home: Austin, Texas — Great airport, great location to reach most golf destinations efficiently.

• Domestic Travel: Willing to travel to all contiguous states including (but not limited to) the following courses: Bandon Dunes, Whistling Straits, Pebble Beach, Chambers Bay, Tobacco Road, Bluejack National.

• International Approvals: Scotland, Ireland, and England.

• Travel Restrictions: Australia/New Zealand.

• Airline Status: Southwest Companion Pass

• Max Driving Distance (round-trip, in hours): 4

• Advance Needed: One (1) calendar month preferred, willing to put my life on the line with my wife if the course is baller enough though.

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Thank you for your consideration. I hope to hear from you in the near future.

Will

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