Welcome to Washed Weekly — a weekly newsletter that will feature original columns, quick reads, exclusive product drops, and an offering of some of the best content we’ve created throughout the week that was. Read it, enjoy it, and pass it on to anyone you think will enjoy it, too. You can also check out the Washed network of podcasts.
Is This Summer Prepared For The Possibility of a Chainsmokers #1 Hit?
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“Closer” by The Chainsmokers was released on July 29, 2016. From the moment Drew’s underwhelming vocals hit the wired Apple headphones that came stock with your iPhone SE, nothing was the same.
When a song of this ilk is released this late in the summer, it often gains a recency bias when tossed into the “Song of the Summer” discussion, though this song needed no help. It was soon solidified as the song you’d hear at the douchebag-bar-that-you-don’t-want-to-admit-you-go-to-but-still-go-to. It found its way into gyms and salons alike. If there’s a sparkly red Sea Ray anchored in the local party cove, it’s blasting Halsey’s vocals over whatever you’re playing.
Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you
I drink too much and that's an issue, but I'm okay
Hey, you tell your friends it was nice to meet them
But I hope I never see them again
And you loved it. Whether or not you’re willing to admit it now, you yearned for it.
Fast forward to early summer, 2024. Chet Hanks’s “White Boy Summer” has been upgraded from a “Watch” to a “Warning” in the face of our country’s most fragile time (while Taylor Swift tours in Europe leaving white girls everywhere just a little more scaled back). This is our reality now whether you like it or not.
But still, something’s missing.
While summer is still in its infancy, truly anything is possible. Dead and Company extended their Sphere residency. Elon removed public likes thus causing our timelines to be absolutely messy. You can’t walk into a convenience store without seeing Glen Powell’s face plastered on a magazine. We need to circle the wagons before it gets more out of control than it already is.
The one thing that could really create the most chaotic summer of our post-pandemic lives? A surprise Chainsmokers #1 hit.
Just imagine the influencer stories from Surf Lodge with a Chainsmokers ft. Sabrina Carpenter mega-hit laid over it. Try to fathom what it would feel like to pair your Sonos Bluetooth speaker with the boat over while slapping the bag for the first time since college with those ChatGPT-feeling lyrics blessing your eardrums. A surprise Lollapalooza performance because the song is too huge to ignore? Don’t even color me surprised.
The question still looms — is this a good thing or a bad thing? Do we want this to be the spiciest (read: douchiest) summer in recent memory, or do we simply want to be okay with the Dua Lipa-lead cadence we’re currently in? Between Chet Hanks, the rise of Zyn, and the constant social outcry for Miller Lite to bring back Vortex bottles, we have to ask ourselves: “Do we even have a choice?”
We ain't ever gettin' older
We ain't ever gettin' older
Sure, they’ve recently released “Addicted” featuring Zerb and Ink. And like you, I have no fucking clue who Zerb and Ink are. After a recent rumination over this very topic on Twitter, several people reached out bringing this song to my attention. With extreme hesitancy, I listened to it thinking that we may be in over our heads.
Luckily, it was so unfinishable that its considerations for “song of the summer” vanished faster than the mattress in Boulder.
We’re safe. For now.
Circling Back on This Week’s Episodes
It was an extremely busy week in the Washed Media HQ podcast studio which means there’s a lot to catch up. Here’s everything you may have missed:
Circling Back
Bulls Gone Wild & Fajitas For Six — Watch on YouTube
Circling Back With The Dumb Zone — Watch on YouTube
Glizzy Eating Contests & Rock Lifting with The Lads — Watch on YouTube
Listener Voicemails, Episode 278: Buying Corse Merch At Hogwarts — Subscribe on Patreon
Too Much Dip
So The Celtics Are Pretty Good — Watch on YouTube
Retail Therapy
078: The Summer '24 In/Out List — Watch on YouTube
079: Euro Kits and Dinner Parties — Watch on YouTube
The Mail In
Who’s Your Celebrity Hall Pass? — Listen on Apple Podcasts
We Added a New Podcast to the Network; Let’s See How Their Listeners are Taking It
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Washed Media proudly partners with several podcasts that we recruited to add to our network. It’s a simple agreement we have in place with each of them. Basically, we present their product in front of our advertising partners and ad agencies, try to sell ad reads on their behalf, and we keep a small cut of that revenue.
That’s truly the extent of it. There are no real obligations from either side as it relates to the content the shows put out. One of the built-in benefits to these relationships is that we get to expose our podcasts to their listeners and they get to expose their podcast to our listeners. If a small percentage of them decide that they like what they hear, great, maybe we marginally grow our audience. And maybe they marginally grow theirs. Feels like a win-win.
The goal is to add other properties with listener bases that would seamlessly fit in with ours. When we recently added The Dumb Zone to our network, we were thrilled about it for a few reasons. One of them, obviously, was that their listener base of Dallas sports enthusiasts might also like what we have to offer.
On Tuesday, we recorded an episode with the two hosts of The Dumb Zone, Dan and Jake, in our studio. I thought it went pretty well. Let’s check in on The Dumb Zone subreddit to see how they liked the guys of Circling Back!
The thread titled “So washed media huh???” got the conversation started.
You’ll find that “douche” is the prevailing theme throughout these threads.
Well, no, but it’s a podcast, an audio format for talking, and we have about an hour of time to fill.
I can’t speak for all of our subscribers, but I’m pretty sure there’s no offense taken by any of them. Actually, we’ve met a bunch of them and they’re alright!
Exactly Five Minutes is a great episode and I think Dan and Jake enjoyed it, too. As for the rest of what you said: 😔.
Two former absolute frat stars. You nailed this.
A fair point was brought up here and I’m happy to announce that we have fixed it. You can now see The Dumb Zone proudly displayed on WashedMedia.com.
Hand up. This one is about me. It’s just so natural for me to put a little extra stank on the “fuck” in “dumb fuck.” I meant nothing by it. Just rolls off the tongue that way, you know? In my defense, I’d never heard Dan or Jake say that term out loud. I’m learning. People can change. Give me time.
Another thread popped up the following day. Whoever started “The Dumb Zone & Circling Back collaboration was good. Stop being so negative.” was well intentioned, as they attempted to curb the widespread criticism. To be fair, a lot of the comments in this thread were much kinder to us, but not all of them. The one below started a rather spirited discussion about whether we were good guys or not. Jury is still out.
Okay, I will have you know that we have five sons among the three of us and we are all pretty great dads. While my son is best known for his off-color, viral humor, he’s a good kid.
This one about sums it up perfectly:
I love all of you Dumb Fucks. I honestly do. Never change. I mean that. Please remain stubborn, grumpy, disgruntled dumb fucks. I dare you to listen to a few Circling Back episodes with an open mind. I freaking DARE you. Your worst nightmares may come true as you actually make it through entire episodes and the running jokes start to land.
When you begin to like us and our show, I don’t even want to hear about it. Don’t let us know and certainly don’t apologize to us.
To listen to the crossover episode with Circling Back and The DumbZone, do so for free on our Patreon channel.
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